Team Building Exercise...from Hell

With the long weekend a distant memory, I trudge on through work. By 11am I have finished four cups of tea and smoked five cigarettes. The weather in Dhaka today is quite pleasant and sunny, though that doesn't make any difference to me since there's no window in sight from my cubicle.

Jamal Bhai, of course, has spent half a day watching the illuminating content of stupidvideos.com. Although right now he's playing Solitaire. At least it's quiet.

For about thirty seconds.

Then he begins drumming on the desk and singing:

HAJAR DORSHOK MON MOJAIYYAAAA
NACHEGO SHUNDORI KOMOLAAAAA...

Very loudly. I grit my teeth. Heads pop out of other cubicles.
Before I know it, our Financial Coordinator Fahim has started clapping along to the beat. Sure enough, other people start singing along:

PREMIK PURUSH ROHIM MIYAAAAAAAA
RUPBAAANE NAACHE KOMOR DOLAIYYYAAAAAAA



The tea boy (or, you'll recall, Executive Refreshment Coordinator) comes along with a tray of tea. At first unsure what's happening, he starts mouthing the words. Finding encouragement, he gets a bit more into it. I just want that tea on his tray, but getting up would mean I risk getting involved.

Now it starts reaching fever pitch, as tables are banged, heads are shaken and arms are extended to the heavens in eternal expression of the music within.

It's a full fledged musical.

Along comes the Line Manager. Finally, I think, this ends now. But no. He begins doing a little dance and makes direct eye contact with me. He's encouraging me to join in. If the smile on his face were wider it could be used as a landing light at the airport. He shakes his head as if to say come on let's maasti yaaaaar! I purse my lips a bit. He's the boss. I raise an eyebrow and bob my head very lightly from side to side. That's all I'm willing to give and it feels like my soul is being violated.

At last, it ends. Everyone returns to not working, browsing Facebook and watching stupid videos. Finally we get our tea.

The Line Manager pats himself down, and looks around with a look of satisfaction.

"Bah bah bah! That was wonderful, team. Really really really great. That's what I call TEAM SPIRIT!"

And for the next five minutes, the whole floor erupts in applause. In applause. I drink my tea and try not to choke to death.